Letters From a Pillock
by Chunzi
Summary: "Dear guys, all of you are full of nonsense. And Soul, will you stop moving about. My books are gonna be stained with your blood. -Maka"  KiddxMaka WARNING:OOC


**Disclaimer:**

_**Chunzi: If I own Soul Eater I totally make Kidd & Maka a couple!**_

_**Kidd: No, you should make everything symmetry if you own it.**_

_** Chunzi: ...Well, at least I'm glad "someone" didn't own it...  
**_

* * *

_**Chunzi: I read this fanfic from another anime and I kept laughing! It was so damn funny! I decided to the use same format of writing for this story.**_

**_Kidd: Beware of total OOC-ness._**

**_Maka: You have been warn._**

**_Chunzi: You two just make me drool... I can't believe they're so cool..._**

* * *

**_Letters from a Pillock_**

One fine morning in Shibusen, all classes have started and everyone tried paying attention to their teacher's lecture. Doctor Stein was teaching everyone about the parts of the pig's brain which everyone felt disgusted just hearing the lecture. At least it was better than dissecting a pig's brain, but let's not bring that up or Doctor Stein might feel like letting the students dissect it. While the doctor was continuously going on with his lecture, Kidd was scribbling something on a piece of paper. After finishing what he wrote, he looked up to inspect the teacher for a second making sure that he wasn't looking at his direction, he then whispered to some students and they started passing the paper he had folded to the location Kidd had informed of. The piece of folded paper finally made it to it's destination, on Maka Albarn's desk. Maka looked at the paper questioningly; her classmate told her it was from Kidd. The auburn haired girl looked at Kidd's direction but his attention was now focused on Doctor Stein. Curious, Maka unfolded the piece of paper and read it.

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**You look beautiful as always.**_

_**-Kidd**_

Maka blushed as she read it, also surprising the girl. _What the heck?_

_**Dear Kidd-kun,**_

_**Umm, thanks. Is there another reason that you wrote me a letter?**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**No. Just felt like commenting on how beautiful you are.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Kidd-kun,**_

_**That's it?**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**Yes.**_

_**-Kidd  
- **_

_**Dear Kidd-kun,**_

_**So in other words, you're bored?**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**Seems so. As sharp as ever Maka.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Kidd-kun,**_

_**Kidd-kun… When you're bored it doesn't mean you can write me random letters when class's in session. Some people need to pay attention in class too you know?**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**Then do you pay attention to Dr Stein's classes?**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Kidd-kun,**_

_**...**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**See?**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Maka and what's his face,**_

_**What the heck are you two writing about?**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear Soul,**_

_**Soul! That's not nice!**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear tiny tits,**_

_**What makes you think I care?**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear Soul Eater,**_

_**On the contrary, I care. It's Death the Kidd by the way. Plus, if you insult Maka Albarn again, I'll gung-ho your ass!**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Death whatever,**_

_**Whoa, you actually swear? I thought you were cooler than that. I knew it; I'm the coolest out of everyone. And why do you even care about Maka that much? You love her or something? She has like, tiny tits and an always serious face that makes anyone wanna gag.**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear seaweed brain,**_

_**I don't usually swear, but I will if you ever insult her again. I'm not cool, I'm perfect. And why do you care if I love her? She might have A-cup size breasts and a very serious face, but she's beautiful and strong and hardworking unlike you, filth.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Soul and Kidd-kun,**_

_**Soul, Maka-chop! Kidd-kun, I'll spare you for the time being.**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear everyone,**_

_**HEY! Why did you guys leave me out! I want in on this letter writing too! I'll be the focus of attention! Wahahahahaha!**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear Black*Star,**_

_**Please don't waste resources if you're only going to write something as plain and simple as this. And might I suggest you fold the paper symmetrically?**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Black**__***Star,**_

_**You can actually write? Wow, what a shock.**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear Kidd and Soul,**_

_**Why do I have to fold it symmetrically? I'm not like you being so obsessive with symmetry. This is why you'll never grow up to be as famous as me Kidd-kun. Hahahaha. And yes Soul, I can write. Don't underestimate the Great Me!**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear moron,**_

_**You're stupidity is what we always underestimate.**_

_**-Soul and what's his face**_

_**Dear Soul Eater,**_

_**I can write on my own. And it's Kidd, Death the Kidd. Even a one year old can remember that.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear guys,**_

_**All of you are really full of nonsense. And Soul, will you stop moving about. My books are gonna be stained with your blood.**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear tiny tits,**_

_**Whose fault do you think it is that made my head splurts out blood?**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear Soul,**_

_**Shut up.**_

_**-Maka.**_

_**Dear Soul Eater,**_

_**You insult Maka another time and I'll make you a target practice.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear smartass,**_

_**You suck, and the glare you're sending me right now is weak.**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear seaweed brain,**_

_**I do not. And stop pulling Maka's hair or you'll regret it!**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear fucktard,**_

_**As if I care what you say. Look who's jealous? Haha.**_

_**-Amused Soul**_

_**Dear people,**_

_**Oi! Stop leaving me out you guys! I'm the focus of attention here!**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear guys,**_

_**Soul, MAKA-CHOP! Kidd-kun, thank you for your concern but I'm alright now. Black*Star, what's the point on getting our attention when there's over forty other students in this class that you can bug?**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka-chan,**_

_**Wow Maka-chan, that Maka-chop of yours really looks painful. Soul's already out cold! But I won't lose! I'll make a more powerful move and call it "Black*Star, the Great Assassin-chop"!**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear Black*Star,**_

_**... I'm sorry, which part was I supposed to laugh?**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Black*Star,**_

_**That makes no sense. Besides, if you want to name your attack I suggest a more powerful and amazing name is best suited. And also, when had the relationship between you and Maka intensified?**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Kidd,**_

_**The name for my move makes total sense! Don't go looking down on "The Great Black*Star-chop"! What do you mean me and Maka's relationship intensified?**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear Black*Star and Kidd-kun,**_

_**Black*Star, I thought you said it was "Black*Star, the Great Assassin-chop". Kidd-kun, I'm as confused as Black*Star too.**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Black*Star and Maka,**_

_**Just like Maka said as well, wasn't it supposed to be "Black*Star, the Great Assassin-chop"? Don't tell me you forgot and decide to change it to another name? How typical of you… Why did you call Maka, "Maka-chan"? Surely your relationship with her is not more than being friends? Maka, just what am I to you! Is my love for you not strong enough? To lose to someone as disgusting and retarded as Black*Star… And why is my name always written after his and Soul Eater's name?**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Kidd-kun,**_

_**W-What? K-Kidd-kun! Don't w-write something like that! Black*Star's reading this too you know!**_

_**-Flustered Maka**_

_**Dear lovebirds,**_

_**You guys are pathetic.**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear seaweed brain,**_

_**Go find somewhere on the street to lie and rot.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Soul,**_

_**Hey, you're still alive buddy! Let's have a match sometime with the Great me! Whatcha say?**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear Black*Star,**_

_**Ne. I'm too cool for something like that. Oh yeah Maka, can I move next to you a little?**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear Soul,**_

_**Why?**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**Oh nothing important really. I just wanna make smartass over there jealous.**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear bastard,**_

_**I'll give you to the power of two to move away from Maka before I shoot your ass.**_

_**-Pissed off Kidd**_

_**Dear Kidd and Soul,**_

_**I want in on the fight too! I'm gonna win and I'll be famous once everyone heard that I beat the crap out of you guys! Hahahaha.**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear proud retarded bastard,**_

_**You wish.**_

_**-Kidd and Soul**_

_**Dear immature boys,**_

_**Don't start a fight you guys. Seriously, you'll only get into trouble. And I expected more from you too Kidd-kun.**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**I'm sorry…**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**Whoa, he looks like he's wilting all of a sudden. Do something.**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear Kidd-kun,**_

_***sighing* I didn't mean it okay Kidd-kun. I'm sorry. C'mon, cheer up.**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**You're so forgiving… I knew you were different from the rest of those flies.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Maka,**_

_**I take it back. Talk bad things about him. Say he sucks; say he's an obsessive symmetry bastard. Tell him to go jump off a building or something.**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear Soul,**_

_**SOUL!**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear everyone,**_

_**Hahahaha!**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear Black*Star,**_

_**I'm serious. Don't write if it's unimportant. Some people need this oxygen you know.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Black*Star,**_

_**The dude has a point. And will you stop poking my head! It still hurts you know!**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear Soul,**_

_**Wow, Maka-chan's Maka-chop really is deadly…**_

_**-The Great Black*Star**_

_**Dear Black*Star,**_

_**Please, for the fate of mankind, continue poking that wound on his head.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear fucktard,**_

_**I'm gonna cut your balls off.**_

_**-Soul**_

_**Dear knave,**_

_**Pfft, like you can ever defeat me.**_

_**-Kidd**_

_**Dear Kidd-kun,**_

_**Actually, he did once…**_

_**-Maka**_

_**Dear Maka, Soul, Black*Star and Kidd-san,**_

_**Yes Kidd-san, Black*Star and Soul Eater had defeated you once before. Now, if you guys would stop writing these letters and focus on my teaching I much appreciate it.**_

_**P.S Detention after class for everyone of you.**_

_**-Dr Stein**_

* * *

Tsubaki, Liz and Patty looked at both their technicians glaring at one another, even Soul, for some reason. Piles of letters left on their desks, wondering what they had written to each other for the past few minutes. Well whatever they wrote, they got busted for it anyways. They pity Maka as well for getting caught up in all of it.

Black*Star just laughed hysterically as ever. Soul grunted, after giving Kidd another I'mma-kick-your-ass glare, he turned away and stared off into space. Maka just held a hand to her forehead. She heaved out a sigh of frustration, unaware that Kidd was watching her with a worried expression. Doctor Stein was aware of it though. He laughed quietly which went unheard by the students.

_Young love really is an amazing thing._

* * *

_**Chunzi: I don't usually write Soul Eater fanfics, but when **_**dark precipice_ asked me if I was gonna write more of these then I thought, 'Hey, what the heck.'_**

**_Maka: We very much appreciate reviews. Thank you._**

**_Kidd: Requests for more stories of KiddxMaka are accepted too._**

**_Chunzi: Yeah, I just KNOW Kidd wants more of it too.*winks at Kidd*_**

**_Kidd: *blush*_**


End file.
